Match Reports


OLD ACTONIANS RESERVES V AFC PHOENIX
(The Phoenix has Risen)


This game was not a good one. We've had plenty of bad games but this one seemed badder than the rest.

AFC Phoenix were tough opposition but it was another defeat we just didn't want or need.

The most memorable thing about the match occurred off the pitch, at half-time, and it went like this (note: people's responses and words may be inaccurate or totally made up, but it is based on a true story):

The whistle blows, Old Actonians traipse off the pitch with heads down, the result is 2-0 to Phoenix.

Sam: (lifts her big goalie hands in the air) COME TO ME!

A few players subtly try to walk away from the big goalie hands

Sam: Come here now, you can get a drink later. Stop dilly dallying. Now, get in a circle!

Old Actonians hope we are doing some more stretches

To everyone's astonishment Sam is now three times her original size and is magically rising off the floor. Sam is now ten feet off the floor, she looks down at her minions - you can cut the tension with a knife.

Sam: Why do we play football?"

Jeremy looks lovingly on while the rest of the team stare blankly at their assistant coach floating in the air

Sam: (she is now shouting): WHY DO WE PLAY FOOTBALL?

(MV looks at a leaf on a tree, Karina looks at an ant on a blade of grass, Jo looks at the mad women bellowing from above)

Sam pulls out a light-saber (a fictional weapon used in Star Wars)

Sam: YOU! 

She points the light-saber at Pat

Sam: Why do you play football?

Pat faints

Sam: SIT DOWN! (Pat disobediently lies down because she has fainted)

Sam: You MV, why, tell me why, you play football?

MV: Err I'm not sure at the moment...

Sam: STAND UP!

MV is already standing up

Sam: Liv, why do you play football?

Liv doesn't justify the question with an answer, a light-saber doesn't scare her...

Sam: (Waves her light-saber angrily) SIT DOWN!!

Liv is already sitting down

Sam: Polly, and why do you play football?

Polly: (ponders the question) Hmmm... Because I like it

Sam: Stand up!

Polly stands up

Sam: No sit down!

Polly sits down again

Sam: (To Carley) And why do you play football?

Carley: Because I absolutely love it, I can't breathe without it

We are getting somewhere. Sam puts away the light-saber, we all relax a little but not too much

By this stage half the team are standing and half the team are sitting - there appears to be no logic in this but Sam has got our attention.

Sam: Right! I play football because I love it. I can't pass the ball, I can't dribble the ball, I can't shoot, I can't take corners and secretly I do not understand the off-side rule, but you know what I can do ?

Silvia: You can fly?

Sam: No - I can catch the ball. I play football because I love football and I can catch the ball.

Old Actonians sympathetically nod up at her

Sam: I also play football because I want to win. It is a competitive sport and if you guys don't want to win you should go and play netball, that's for pussies. Or you should play badminton

Jo: Badminton seems rather competitive

Sam glares at Jo with glaring eyes and contemplates on whether to swipe her with the light-saber

Sam: That is not the point. We need to go out there and look like we enjoy our football. We play football because it is sociable and we can make friends, and all that crap, but we need to look like we are trying.

Harry stops playing her phone, that may or may not be a gameboy, and looks up

Harry: I second that

Sam: (who is slowly shrinking and sinking back down to the ground) So are we going to go out there and play football?

A few players think "but we do" while others nod obediently.

Play resumes and we concede six more goals.


                                OLD ACTONIANS RESERVES V SLOANE LADIES  

                                   oh, lah dee dah


Weather: Standard October day, 30°C, clear blue skies etc etc
Referee: Had a larger than usual... blind spot
No of players: 9
Kit: After their coach ran over and said we had a “fash clash” on our hands (pink and red is just not done in Chelsea darhling!), we donned our sexy yellow bibs. Most people wore nothing underneath for an effect that was just that little bit kinky.
Supporter: Our stalwart Nadia, semi-nude preppy boys, posh people and a few posh dogs

Formation
Sam
Gemma Liv Karina
Pat MV Leah
Stocks
Jo

In the absence of... well, almost everyone, Sam and Linda had recruited some new kids - Gemma, Liv and Karina - who we welcomed into our big, friendly and desperate arms.        

After being allowed into the gated community of the Royal Hospital grounds by a guard, we were shown how the other half - who kicked a football - lived. It was all pristine and lovely and if a few member of OAs don’t turn up at training this week, we know where to find them.

Our warm up consisted of eyeing up our blonder-and-svelter-than-usual opponents and looking at their team sheet, which to our disappointment didn’t have any ridiculous names like Petunia or Elderflower on it. However, we surmised that despite having only 9 players we might be in with a shot of beating these Sloane Rangers. When we saw Stocks heading towards us our hopes were high and after swapping our long-sleeved kit for a kinky yellow bib we were ready to get this party started.

And it was gonna be one hellava hot and sweaty party...

Despite having only 9 players, Old Actonians were on top from the start. MV and Stocks were linking up well through midfield and Sloane Rangers were nervous on the ball, perhaps because they were worried about the Tiffany and Links jewellery they had left on the touchline.

We used this to our advantage though and pressed hard, but not too hard, into their half. It didn’t take long for OAs to punish their patchy defence, with Stocks running onto a ball from MV (more than likely) and sliding the ball comfortably past the keeper.

1-0 so early on, it couldn’t get any better could it? Indeed it could because Nadia and Hylroy were busy porning Sloane Rangers' jewellery to the black-market of Chelsea to help keep the club alive, yay!

But back on the pitch, Stocks was in fine form as she put through a great pass to Jo who skipped past a couple of players before being rugby tackled to the ground by an unruly Ranger in the penalty box.

Instead of the traditional “That’s a penalty ref” plea she went “Arrrgwahwaaattttdaaffeeck” which did OAs little favours in winning it. With the Sloane Rangers team apologising around her, and making her cups of Earl Grey, Jo was dumbfounded when play simply resumed as normal. But Stocks punished our opposition’s errant ways by nailing a beautiful second goal not long after her first. She muscled her way through three defenders and smashed the ball hard into the top corner.

Oh dear… 2-0!

As you know from previous match reports – 2-0 up is not Old Actonians favourite score line. We suck at 2-0 up, especially when we only have 9 players. Yes, that’s 9.



So it was backs to the wall for the end of the first half although our new players were gelling well in defence and stifled most of the Sloaneys attacks. Liv and Karina were booting the ball out of trouble and Gemma made some nice attacking moves down the wing. Sam was stoic as ever in defence risking life and limb to batter the ball away.

Sloane Rangers were improving though and had suddenly become a threat to our 9-man side. Maybe this was because mummy and daddy had promised they would buy them a chateau in the French Alps if they won.

Still we came in at half-time pretty chuffed with our performance, it was some of the strongest football we had played this season despite being two men down and having a new-look team.

But it was still very, very hot, in fact, probably the hottest October day on record ever. If you are not convinced about this please do check BBC or Wikipedia for confirmation though.

However, a little bit of heat was never going to stop the kinky looking Old Actonians from fighting to the end. Out we came with the same gusto as the first half. Pat and Leah were great on the wing providing some good passes for Jo and Stocks, however, the two man difference really was starting to take its toll now.

Leah pumped up for the occasion followed up her winding of last week by getting the ball whacked straight in her face while Stocks was busy agitating the opposition with a slow walk back to the corner flag. Meanwhile Jo was having a good chuckle at being called a “boisterous one” by one of their defenders.

Sam was providing some good balls over the top but due to the extra bounciness of the ball (it’s true! Hylroy said!) it was proving hard for OAs to stop the bouncy little bug*er.

Despite some good play, we suddenly remembered we had a 2-0 lead, so obviously had to then let in two goals. With twenty minutes on the clock we knew only one thing now awaited us. Yes, drat, blast, bugger and tits – extra time. And it was still hot, hot, hot and we only had nine men.

And this is when the story gets really sad... because we lost. Despite strong defence from our new guys and Leah probing the wings, we conceded a goal in both halves of extra time. So yes the final score was 4-2, well done. But maybe more important than losing was the fact that Old Actonians fought to the bitter bitter end in the hottest hottest of conditions. With only two minutes left on the clock and two goals down (as well as two men down) we ran our little socks and kinky bibs off and wouldn’t be beaten... although we were.

Our frowns were turned upside down though when we saw the wads of cash that Nadia and Hylroy had made from their loot. Old Actonians are now so rich they could even buy Frank Lampard if they wanted to.

But we won’t because he is too fat. : P

OLD ACTONIANS RESERVES V CROYDON ATHLETIC


Referee: Not Borat, but had a way with the opposition that was much like Borat.
Kit: The colour of blue, reminds me of you
Weather: Bit nippy

Formation
Sam
Lara Marian MV Amy
Mariah Jo Nat Polly
Troublesome twosome
Subs: Resh

After a bit of football speed dating that involved flashing our photos cheekily at the opposition, it was time to get down to a different sort of business on the pitch. The business of asserting skills we often try to hide due to our shy and modest natures...

We were again bolstered by first teamers Carla, Nat and Marian but unfortunately the rest of us were just us. But enough insulting of our team for now, let’s get on to insulting them. Hoorah!! And weren’t they just gobby little cretins, the most athletic thing about Croydon Athletic were their mouths that had the ability to stretch and stretch and run and run and run. Not the sort of behaviour the gentlefolk of Old Actonians agree with. Neither would Sloane Ladies probably. Does anyone else miss Sloane Ladies?

What was immediately apparent on this bit nippy Sunday was that we were playing a billion times better than last week, ah... do you remember last week. Immediately we attacked their final third with Carla intimidating their defenders and Nadia occasionally stamping on them. Nat and Jo were pumping hard in midfield full of mutual encouragement and positivity. We were the heart driving the team (fact!). On the wings the pacy Polly and mazy Mariah were carving up the pitch and it was clear in terms of speed and skill things were looking good for OAR.

And so this proved when Carla skilfully and effortlessly put us ahead. But there were no overzealous celebrations from OAR this time. Oh no. From last week we have learnt that an early Carla goal can be just as much a curse than a blessing (no offence Carla). Going ahead meant we had to be cool innit and fight fight fight.  While we were working hard as a team Croydon were busy gob gob gobbing, criticising our poor referee for almost every decision and just talking rather too much and not in a fun way, like we do.

As Jo made an amazing run down the left wing she could sense a presence behind her. The bull had once again invaded the pitch and it was charging straight for her. However fast she ran she could hear its pumping little legs and feel it’s hot snorty breath on her neck and she was scared. Unfortunately the bull went hell for (the) leather (ball) and splattered Jo on the floor. The result was the unleashing of a girly scream more girly than the most girly of girly screams. Said girly scream had two effects 1) we won a free-kick (hoorah) 2) Croydon Athletic now hated Jo for her fake scream. IT WAS A FUCKING REAL SCREAM YOU ARSEHOLES. Now Jo knows how it feels to be Gareth Bale, despite the fact she is clearly more talented than Gareth Bale.

From the resultant free-kick nothing happened but we still played some hot stuff. Marian and her merry men, Lara, Amy and MV were all having absolutely crackers at the back. Lara who had tasted the rainbow before the match, and probably drank a few rainbow bombs too, was there, here, everywhere then there again. Booting balls while showing off her flexibility, yes she can kick herself in the head, one wishes she would do it more often.

Then after Nadia had finished mud wrestling she composed herself in a gentlelady like manner, moved effortlessly with the ball and unleashed an absolute humdinger of a shot bang into the top right hand corner of the goal. It was a classic and we now might have to plan our matches assuming that Nadia just might score in the future.

At the break, Marian reminded us to have fun while Nadia was all about having fun but a bit frustrated by a player who had fouled her and then walked away saying “Now that’s a foul.”  It is okay to blatantly foul someone but they can’t go round shouting about it.

Amy who had done some sterling work in defence came on to make space for Resh. We were at the dreaded 2-0 point and were hoping that god was on our side (yes it is about god and not about our own ability, did you not know this yet?)

Although Croydon Athletic Motormouths did get themselves back into the match they still had Marian and Lara to contend with who used their bodies (‘but never their hands’ says Marian) to stop their attack from braking through. It worked until their attack broke through.

2-1! Drat! Please lord, NOT US!

There were twenty minutes to go and it was the crucial point in the match. But instead of our heads going down something remarkable happened and our heads remained up (see Carla, we can do it – even when your breasts aren’t there encouraging us). Resh was making some vital clearances at the back, Nat Randall bossed the midfield with her sidekick Jo and Polly gave their winger palpitations with her endless and exhausting speedy runs. Remember Polly the rest of us have to keep up with you too, be a bit more considerate next time : P. Nat and Carla had a couple of cracks on goal and Nadia, who now thought she was Steven Gerrard attempted some outrageous shots that didn’t go too outrageously wide... obviously this was happened when she wasn’t kissing and making up with the people she had previously flattened. Hug huggy hug it is all okay now and we are friends woo hoo. Thank god for that.

With ten minutes left we were the ones under the cosh, facing 4,503 corner kicks in a row and remarkably not conceding from 4,503 of them. It was 'fast and furious' as David Cameron might say, and scrappy and at some points rather confusing but we managed to blast the ball out of safety time and time again. Sam was as brave and stoic as ever although seemed fazed by the fact she had only retrieved the ball once from the net during the whole game. Croydon Athletic were clearly tired as they had even stopped going on and on and on and one was even heard saying “we don’t deserve to win.”

And with that comment victory was ours and then when the whistle blew victory really was ours. Did we yelp, did we scream, nope – we are the modest model professionals, or more accurately were fecking knackered.  But I am sure you have all managed to have a moment of quiet reflection since and as your body ached in memory of the match you have let a modest little smile sweep over your faces. And the smile made you feel warm inside.

Now take that warmth and make contact with the girl who most caught your eye at the start of the game... Who knows, it might be the start of something special.

                                Old Actonians Reserves v Comets FC



Referee: Possibly the best, definitely the shortest
Weather: There was an icy chill
Kit: One that doesn’t sufficiently deal with an icy chill
Supporters: They know who they are...

Formation:

Sam
Alison MV Lara Pat
Polly Carley Livvie Karina
Jo Nadia
Subs: Mariah

First and foremost, did you know that Livvie is leaving us in three weeks, boo hoo, and we are all sad about this because she has become an instrumental part of our team.  If you look on Wikipedia you will see she has now appeared in more Old Actonians fixtures this season than anyone else, except for two people, or potentially three. We will miss her for this and so much more.

Right - got that out the way. Now – to the match we travel...

After waking up at a godforsaken hour to make a kick-off time so early it is against the law in most developed country, we snacked on colourful macaroons fresh from Nadia’s visit to Paris whilst chatting the usually load of crap in the changing rooms.

Sam was more demanding than ever during the warm-up - fired up from the knowledge that the rest of the team knew she carried a light-saber. She ordered star jumps for naughty behaviour and then laughed at Lara for doing a funny star jump – which must have been pretty funny because a regular star jump is already pretty funny. Once Sam had stopped bullying us we made our way onto the pitch where the delightfully smiley and awesome referee was waiting for us.

The whistle blew and we embarked on playing the worst 15 minutes of football ever played in the history of the world. It was really impressively awful. We couldn’t pass, we couldn’t run, we were still clearly at home pushing the snooze button but fortunately Sam could catch so kept us out of a spot of trouble.

Something we all did quite well throughout the match was chat. Blather blather blather chat chat giggle giggle woop woop weeeeeeeeeee, yes, we were having a ball of a time (pardon the pun, actually scratch that, puns should never be pardoned). Jo had turned into the headmistress on the pitch going round telling people to shhhhhhh (especially naughty pair Liv and MV) before running off to chat to someone else. Oh the hypocrisy!

But thankfully, and perhaps through our joyfulness, we started to play better. Polly, who should be drug tested at the end of the season because no mere mortal can run like that, had the Comets at sixes and sevens on a couple of occasions as she zoomed down the wing. The Comets, named after lumps of frozen gas and rock racing through our solar system, obviously thought they were pretty fast, but they had nothing on our Polly and her anabolic steroids.

Meanwhile MV was playing like she had a comet up her ass. She was sliding and running for everything and along with Alison and Pat at the back made sure nobody could get through. Lara moved up into the midfield where she started to unsettle the Comet midfielders and Jo and Nadia linked up pretty well but unfortunately about twenty yards too far away from the goal.

But something remarkable continued to happen through the first-half, they did not score a goal. Sam was as brave as ever in goal risking life and limb and her beautiful face to grab the ball she likes to grab so much. When she didn't manage to get a touch on it we relied on our 12th man: the official of the game, the ref or our 13th man: the official of the world, aka god. (But more about that later, shit this is going to be a long match report – feel free to go for a coffee or tea now if you want).

Another thing we did quite well during this match was handballing. Liv and Karina both on form with some excellent hand to ball, ball to hand, action. The ref thankfully just spent most of his time being cute and laughing at us.

In we came at half-time. It had been a half of two halves, one half so shit it was unbelievable but the other half quite promising. MV got into the spirit saying “no motherfucking bitch will ever get past me” while Sam told Jo to stay in her position (as if!) and to lay it off earlier (as if x 2!).

Coach Haroldinho told us that if we wanted this match we could bloody well have it but we had to want it. Someone (potentially Carley) said they “wanted it more than anything in the world” whilst others were weighing up the positive and negatives of wanting it and how much work that would entail.

But we did continue to fight, and chat. Pat did a great job on the right being bold with her head but the highlight was definitely when she just decided to shove someone off the pitch in the most blatant off the ball challenge ever seen. It was the right call to make though as sometimes people just need to be pushed over. One person after the match said “It was the best match Pat has ever played”, and yes... it was Pat.

The manager of the Comets was losing his rag with his team as Old Actonians were making life difficult for them. After one error he yelled out “Fuck me!” to which the referee politely replied “Thanks for the offer, but no thanks.”

Meanwhile the hard-working Carley tried to decapitate Jo while knocking the ball forward and Nadia used her magnetic ball-controlling force field to great effect. Polly just ran and ran and ran, and Alison ran quite a lot too, oh and Karina did also.

Whilst all this running was going on, MV and Livvie were tickled pink by the fact there was now a Mariah and a Whitney on the pitch. Mariah, who is actually named after Mariah Carey (true story), had come on for us and was causing trouble with her pace up front. As for Whitney, she was using her smooth and velvety voice to soothe her irate manager on the touchline.

In other ins and outs of the match, MV had the ball kicked up her ass, which apparently dislodged the comet, and Nadia spent a lot of her time inside Polly.

With all still to play for the excitement got too much for Coach Harry who shouted so loudly she started to hyperventilate and then collapsed and had to be resuscitated on the touchline (don't worry there were no tongues Silvia).

Oh and also don't worry cos this isn't true. And also Silvia, we missed you, get well soon!

We had played well but we cannot ignore the divine intervention that occurred in the final ten minutes. Although running a close battle with the referee, the man of the match turned out to be the one and only god.

Old Actonians had been caught out and the Comets were racing towards the goal. A Comet had got past Sam and let off a goalward shot which had enough power to outpace Alison and Liv who were chasing back. The ball was a second from crossing the line when a greedy, glory hunting Comet (who thought she shone more brightly than the other comets) decided the best course of action was to kick the ball off course. Not just a little off course mind, the kind of off course that occurs when two comets collide. We all watched in amazement as the ball hurtled off to another galaxy... then Carley laughed a lot and we all praised the lord. Amen.

The full-time whistle blew and the reality hit us in the face like a comet - we had played an entire match and not conceded a single goal.

It goes to prove, as Mariah and Whitney once sung together, “There can be miracles when you believe”.

But miracles aside, we deserved that point, and because of that we are keeping it. 

OLD ACTONIANS RESERVES VS ORPINGTON FC




Location: Orpington 
Opponents: Orpington (K)FC
Weather: Damn fine
Referee: Disturbingly efficient 
Duration: Seven years, three months and two days 
Supporter: Joy 

Formation: 
Goal: Carley (then Rachael... then Stocks... then Sarah)
Rachael Amy Silvia 
Sarah MV Stocks Pat Leah
Jo

What you are about to read is based on a true story... 

After Hylroy and much more importantly the kit had finally arrived, Old Actonians were ready to take on the best that the pleasant London suburb of Orpington had to offer. Sadly we were without our head (Marian) and our lungs (Harry) after these two star players, the kids we pay the big bucks to, had deserted us for the first team (only kidding guys!) leaving us a woman down (really, how could you? : p ).

However, this wasn’t enough to take the wind out of our sails because we had recruited Amy and had the playmaker Stocks back on our team. We were also boosted by the fact that we were in the division above our opponents which came as quite the surprise as we were unaware that there was a division below ours.

Suited and booted we took to the field and did the usual kick the ball around warm up, pretending we are professional malarkey. Then as a sign of respect to the victims of 9/11 we took to the centre circle and formed a tight cosy huddle to observe a minute’s silence. 

60 quiet seconds later we were ready to cause some noise. Old Actonians burst into life from the whistle with some neat passes from midfield to attack. One lovely pass very early on gave Jo a one-on-one with the goalkeeper but on this occasion the goalkeeper won.

In an effort to prevent the goalkeeper from serious brain damage Jo leapt over the goalkeeper and thinking she was invincible after one too many vodka and cranberries the night before flew through the air to thud unceremoniously on her stomach. Reports have it that her wails of pain were so loud that even some of the first team players in Norwich heard them...

After MV had told Jo to get over it because she was only winded we were on our way again. And it didn’t take long to break the deadlock, Stocks and MV linking well in midfield until Stocks put through a perfectly timed pass to Jo who slotted it between the posts for a quick opener. 

Jo was back in party mode a few minutes later deciding this time to chip the goalkeeper with her left foot, something that had only ever happened successfully in her dreams. But this time we were all awake, back of the net! Despite being a man down we were already two goals to the good. We could go home now right? Wrong. 

Wrong because they had turned vicious leaving Leah sprawled on the floor at one point and also wrong because we are still a work in progress...

Yes, silly silly sausages Old Actonians let Orpington back into the game and despite some solid work from the defence the sneaky rascals sneaked two goals back to bring the game back to life.

Fortunately we were in no mood to surrender and despite our opponents playing a very high line we were finding a way through. This time the ball came from a midfielder (you know who you are) and rolled on to Stocks who wasted no time in drilling the ball into the net... the goalkeeper didn’t stand a chance and we were once again on top, where we like it. ; ) 

Hylroy was far from impressed at half-time but also far from disappointed, so we already had a mini victory on our hands. Woop! However, 3-2 was a slender little margin so we had a team chat that went along the lines of “play better” and got back out there.

We wasted no time in letting them have it. Pat and Sarah were strong on the wings and Rachael and Amy were there to kick or head anything out of the danger zone. Like wild beasts baying for blood we went on the attack and got our juicy pulsating prey when Stocks put her second on the board to give us another comfortable two goal margin. 

But what do Old Actonians do with a two goal margin? Yup, you’ve guessed it, we concede two goals in quick succession. As Homer would say, doh! The game now dangled on a knife’s edge and for Hylroy on the touchline it must have been as nerve-wracking as watching England play in a World Cup. 

To add to our woes Carley who had done a great job in goal suffers a knock so Rachael, then Stocks, then Sarah replaces her and we are left with nine men, eek. The incentive now switches from "we want to win” to “we do not want to play another 30 minutes”.  Not because we don’t like football, of course, but because we are all rather tired and want a KFC.

We need to score, so we don’t. Although what we can do is defend like our lives depend on it. And hear a "shout out" must go to the super-flying Italian who goes by the name of Silvia who at one point leapt double her height to knock the ball onto the post in the dying minutes to save the day (okay it may not have been the dying minutes but it makes it sound more dramatic...). Anyway it was an awesome effort from such a short person. 

Despite some great attacking moves, turns and flips by Leah and Sarah, the whistle blows and it is 4-4 at full time. We have got nine men and it should be bad but strangely it is good because we know we can do this sh*t. Before the first half of extra time kicks-off Rachael turns to Jo and says “I am expecting at least a hat-trick from you in the first 15”.

Unfortunately, Jo lets everyone down by only scoring two goals in the next 15 minutes. What a loser! She can feel the eyes of her teammates bearing down on her in disgust but we are now leading 6-4, so it was better than 4-4 at least. : ) 

But was 6-4 enough for us? By heck it wasn’t. We needed to show Orpington K-FC that we were finger licking good. In fact, Orpington were at this point more interested in insulting and shouting at each other than they were in the game. This gave us plenty of opportunities to have a crack and for Jo to be greedy in search of her fifth (yes fifth! Cos she had scored four already! Yes four! : P) 

The icing on the cake, the cherry on the trifle, the toad in the hole came when the ball dropped to MV and she hit what could only be described as an absolute beauty, or a right pearler, high into the top of the goal from quite the considerable distance. She may even have been falling over a bit when she hit it.

"It was wunderfool" was Silvia’s post-match comment and supposedly "the best goal of the match" (humph). Thankfully as we were now three goals ahead, and not the terrible two, there was no way back for our opponents now. Ha ha, in their face! 

So despite the late kit, walking wounded, goalkeeper swaps, absence of key players, ten and then nine men, we had battled against the odds to become the heroes of Orpington and the most fantastic football club to have ever graced the land (again). 

We can now only build on the performance next week, except for Jo who is retiring from the game at her peak. 





2 comments:

  1. Came across your work through an article on Al Jazeera... got curious and have been perusing the blog. Cracking stuff, absolutely loving the humour and writing style. Keep up the great work!

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  2. That's soooo nice to hear. Thanks! Will try to keep it up, just for you... : P

    ReplyDelete